For My Toy - All Above My Head

For My Toy

we are strangers, a total strangers, in my eyes
as I don't know you, and you have no idea who I really am
but yet, we touched, we kissed, we play a fool
you even touched the deepest in me that I never let anyone did before
in our first met. and I let you.
but we are still strangers till now.

I often forget your face, not until I saw your profile picture on our chatting application
I even forget all about you if you not calling me again that time
that booty call, I always pick, even I know what you mean when you say my name
I don't even remember your voice that well,
it's hard for me to recall how your voice sounds, when you called me names, not my real name tho
why'd you never call my name?
when you moan right next to my ear, but I can't remember how it sounds like

the touched, no linger on my skin, no trace about what we did,
where you touched, and what you kissed. nothing
no reminder of the thousands kisses we did,
when our tongue collide and play together, nothing

knowing you only called me when you need something from me
I don't mind, I don't care,
what do I care in the world after all?
do I even have a life anymore? since all I know is just breath, and not dead yet.

but sometimes, a little sometimes, I wonder
I wanna be your eyes, to see what you saw in me
what am I to you, on your brain, in your heart, in your life.
what the reason your heart beats fast when we fooling around?
an adrenaline rush? or just your blood pumping a lil bit harder than usual?
but why didn't I feel the same since we play the same game?
my heart just beat like usual, even I doubt it beating at all that time
since I didn't feel anything at that moment
so, why does your heart beats that fast when I am hardly feel anything on my body?

did it just lust you have to me? or you have something more on your sleeves?
I wish it was the first one, because I don't know what should I do if the second one you choose
I don't know what I'll do if you have more to me

I am so sure I don't love you
but I like you enough to ask you to stay the same, to us to stay as we are right now.
I like you enough to want you stay and a bit hurt if you say other names in front of me
like you enough to keep what we have
enough to stay.
to wish no changes in our heart and our relationship
but then again, do we even have any relationship?