I have nothing to give you, I have nothing to do with you anymore.
That’s, what I want to
say.
If I have to lie,
then I would lie to you.
Because I know
you know the truth.
The past we pass, the stories that buried deep down,
The trace of your dried tears, already gone, so that I don’t need to stay.
That’s, what I want to
tell.
If I have to
leave, then I would leave you.
Because you know I
won’t be far, and no matter where you are, I’ll come back to you.
Keep
holding up my will to touch you, just because the bond that we hate so much.
That’s, what I wanna do.
If I have to go,
then I would go to you.
And we need not
any explanation.
I’m not abandoning
you, not in any way. Not leaving you, not in any move.
If
I have to die, no, I won’t die for you.
Because
you worth all my life.
I don’t want to leave you
like this, but this the only way to save you.
Because I want to have you.
If I have to cry,
then I’ll only smile,
Because with you,
my tears belong to smile.
10.10.2016
Without
Any exPlanation of Fall aPart
***
Apa gunanya aku datang jika kamu tak disana?
Apa maknanya aku kesana,
jika kau tak menoleh?
Apa maksudnya kau mengundangku jika tak menerimaku?
Untuk apa aku merindu jika
hanya buat sendu?
Untuk apa aku mencinta jika kau hanya beri aku luka?
Untuk apa aku menanti jika
berakhir sendiri?
Kebodohan untuk bertanya pada hampa
Lebih bodoh lagi Karena masih
menyimpan rasa
Mereka berkata
cinta tak dapat memilih, namun apakah kita memang punya pilihan?
Mereka bilang
hidup adalah pilihan, namun apakah pilihan itu berlaku pada kita?
Mereka bercerita bahwa cinta tak harus memiliki,
lalu kenapa kita harus menyimpan cinta ini?
11.10.2016
**
When I’m with you, when we meet at the same place, when you see
me.
Can we stop pretending?
Or do you already forget what we did?
Or am I thinking too much?
I am who I am, maybe I can hold back, maybe I still look okay.
But every time i feel you in the same air, I really want to jump into
you and forget everything.
You are who you are, with all mysteries you keep, and the
secrets you won’t share.
I don’t even know you anymore.
Do you still want me?
When I’m with you, when you get closer, when you talk.
Can you stop pretending? And see me in the eye?
Why are you ignoring me?
Are you scared? Are you afraid they’ll know about us?
Don’t worry, sweetheart, they already know it.
They just keep silent so we don’t get the trigger from tiger.
We are such a fool, and I’m just a fool that fall for you.
Maybe that time you just playing around, maybe that time we just
fooling our self
And I got trapped inside, with the ending you leave me locked up
Watching you swirling here and there till I don’t know you anymore
Till I lost you in my shadow.
Bonded aren’t we?
But I’m not your family, I won’t ever be your family, I won’t
call you my family.
Not in that way of what they want.
That’s just title that hurt me deep.
Too deep when you “use” that to leave me hanging
If you know this would be wrong, then why did you kiss me?
Why did you touch me?
If you leave me, then why did you leave that mark on me?
Am I wrong to love you?
With, And, Pretending
*
When I’m with you,
I too want to hold
you, see your smile, and talk to you
But they will talk
bad about you, they will get mad at us
I too still have
dreams I want to make, even one of them is about you that I need to forget.
When I saw you walked
beautifully,
I too want to jump
into you and kiss you
But they will accuse
you, give their pointer to you and we won’t see each other anymore
And I don’t want that, better
like this,
Even I can’t touch you and hold
you anymore, I still could see you.
Lonely night, I miss
you, busy night, I miss you, in the crowd I still miss you.
I miss you too my
love,
I too want to shout
out my love for you, but they will take my voice and left me mute
I know they know
about us, my love
That’s why I want to
protect you from them
You said you don’t know me anymore,
when the truth is I don’t know me either.
We are the fool that
fall together, baby
But I’m not lucky to keep
a hold on you
I’m trapped in grey
and colors, that’s why you lost me in shadow
And I still could
see you in the dark
Don’t wait for me, my
love
Don’t wait, don’t waste it
I still remember
that night
The warm and sweet
we share, but they took my memory out about you
I never know if this
is wrong
Because what I know
is, I Love You.
From Prison
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